Storytime

Have you ever been driving down the street and seen a shoe or pair of underwear on the side of the road and wondered, "How in the world does a pair of underwear end up there?" Let me tell you how. Josh figured out how to roll down the window as we were driving down a busy street in our neighborhood. Sitting next to Josh in the backseat was my change of clothes for after the gym. Before I even knew what was happening, Josh grabbed my bra and threw it out the window and I watched in the rear view mirror as it drifted away down the street. Do I stop and retrieve my undergarment at 5:30pm on the main street in front of countless of people I probably know passing by? Ummm, no thank you. And that is how random items end up on the side of the road.

R.I.P.
THE FIRE ENGINE

Jan. 11, 2008 - Sept. 24, 2009

Josh's beloved fire engine has finally bit the dust. After too many submersions in the baby pool and most recently the bath tub, poor 'ole Leap the Frog has croaked his last 1, 2, 3's. Josh still rides it around the house like a madman of course. He will get on it, wave, and say, "I'm going to school, and to MOPS, and to Target, and to Kay Kay's house, and to Adventure Kids, and to the gym. Okay, Bye!"

I swear I will not tell potty training stories on this blog. I promise. (OHHHHH the stories I could tell). However, I can tell you about the procedure that takes place every time Josh gets a M&M as a reward.

Step 1. Climb up on the stool to be at eye level with the M&M container.

Step 2. Pick a color. Let's say Blue.

Step 3. Take the blue M&M and inspects it thoroughly.

Step 4. Changes his mind and asks for a Red M&M.

Step 5. Takes the Red M&M.

Step 6. Walks (runs) all over the house matching the Red M&M to all the red things in the house saying "Look, it's like the same!" The red lamp shade, my red shirt, Murphy's red collar, you get the point.

Step 7. After all the color matching, the M&M has sufficiently melted in his hand, not in his mouth.

The other day after I picked up Josh from school we headed to the running store. He was hungry and requested (in no uncertain terms) a snack. I told him I would get something for him when we get to the store. Surely they would have some crackers or something? Nope. All I could find was Gu Energy Gel, Cliff Bars, Energy drinks, etc. Then I saw a nice little package of Jelly Belly Jelly Beans. Okay, it's his lucky day. I will do anything to get through this little errand. So, I let him have a couple of jelly beans. Well, by the time we made it out of the store, I swear his head was about to spin off his body he was so hyper. He was giggling at absolutely nothing and bouncing instead of walking to the car. That's when I took a closer look at the "Jelly Bean" packaging... "Sport Beans" by Jelly Belly, not plain Easter-type Jelly Beans. They are marketed as "Quick Energy Sport Beans." He got his sugar and carb allotment for the week in those 4 little jelly beans. Brilliant, Al.

A million questions. I've heard of this phenomena, and now I am living it. Here is an example of a conversation between me and my curious son the other night...

Josh: "Where did the light go?"

Me: "The sun goes on the other side of the earth at night time. But, it will be back in the morning."

Josh: "Why?"

Me: "Because the Earth moves."

Josh: "Where's the Earth."

Me: "The Earth is where we live."

Josh: "Why?"

Me: "Because God put us here."

Josh: "Why did God put us here?"

Me: " Well, Josh, that's the million dollar question."

Josh: "What's a million dollars."

Me: "It's a lot of money."

Josh: "Mommy, where did the light go?"

And the conversation repeats, almost verbatim.

The stories will continue, my friends. Josh provides a great deal of ammunition for blog posts. For example, making out with a giant ceramic cow. Classic.