Our visit to see Santa went tremendously smooth this year. Josh and I headed to the mall one rainy and colder than cold evening when all the smarter and more responsible parents had their kids at home in warm PJs and eating their vegetables. That's not how we roll, so we had our delirious son out way past his bedtime in an uncomfortable outfit and offered him a Chick-Fil-A peppermint chocolate chip shake (Yummmm!) for dinner. After seeing a puppet show, swimming turtles, Mr. Scrooge tell a story, and a store filled with toys, we met Chris at Santa's work shop for a picture. We only had to wait for about 5 minutes!

Santa was so sweet to Josh and spent more one-on-one time with him than all of his pediatrician appointments combined this year.

Josh's conversation with Santa (word for word):

Santa: "Josh, what would you like me to bring you for Christmas?"

Josh: Silence.

Santa: "Josh, what would you like me to bring you for Christmas?"

Josh: Silence.

(And this is where I stepped in and asked Josh to tell Santa what he tells me 500 times a day).

Josh: (quietly) "Ummm, I want a, Ummm, I want a...."

(and this is when the volume button on my son was suddenly turned up)

Josh: "... A SKATEBOARD!!!" "AND BUZZ!!"

Santa: "Buzz Lightyear?"

Josh: "YEAH, YEAH!!! BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!!" (Volume level 10)

Santa: "Good, Josh. You know, I get really hungry on Christmas delivering all those presents. What are you going to leave me?"

We all know the answer... cookies and milk of course. Josh knows the answer as well, as we had discussed it earlier that day when I purchased a plastic "Cookies for Santa" plate. However, this is the answer Josh gave...

Josh: "An ambulance!"

Santa: (offended, for obvious reasons): "An ambulance? You think I will need an ambulance after coming down the chimney? Ho Ho Ho!"

And our visit was over.

We pissed off Santa.

Fabulous.